In this country, fashion trumps SONA

It has taken me 4 days to find the right words to say this. The words have just been evading me. Anyhow, here I go...

If I was good enough to be a published author, I would have long released an award-winning book. The title of the book would be POLITICIANS REFLECT WHO WE ARE. It would be a long missive of 17 chapters... no wait, 20 chapters (1994-2014) to be exact. Through it I'd argue why I think our politicians reflect the people they are leading.

I know that I am going to get lynched for saying this but, there must be something horribly wrong with a nation which sleeps through their state president's SONA one evening and wake up the next morning to jam the social media with the horrible dress sense of Chairperson of a parliamentary portfolio committee.

It takes a very silly, and a not focused nation, to drive a very confident, "I am big and beautiful" woman like Chairperson in pumpkin (by that I mean colour) dress into fainting upon touching down the airport on her way from work.

Need I mention that this violence on a woman was unleashed because - oh what a silly nation we are - the SONA has become a fashion spectacle, drawing thousands and thousands of spectators wanting to "judge" the fashion sense of politicians? Forget that the address is the last one before the national elections.

I need not mention, also, that our president gave the address right in the middle of a "burning" country. And all we could do was to send a pregnant politician into hospital about nothing in the way of her ability, or lack thereof, to perform her parliamentary oversight duties but because she dared to hop into a dress before hitting the red carpet in Cape Town.

And here is the thing which I believe - if Lebo Pule can remember - will exonerate me for arguing that patriarchy is a system being managed by women. They are the CEOs, and men are simply the grateful shareholders who always, century after century, walk away with obscene profits from this lucrative business.

The public banter and ridicule had the scores of women leading the assault on the Chairperson. Of all those women who participated in the stampede, none of them, at least as far as I am concerned, have ever praised or criticized the concerned Chairperson for her work in parliament.

All what we will know of her from today is not a chairperson who wakes up every morning to play oversight role, or cover-up, depending on how you may look at parliament portfolio committees, but an insignificant woman who knows not how to dress for the occasion.

Chairperson, how you dress means more to us than the work that you are doing in Cape Town.

Some of the Valentine’s Day scars run deep

Charmer was 15. He bunked afternoon class and ran to Setsing Shopping Centre. He knew the trouble which awaited him the following day at school. He emerged, armed with the love card and a necklace. When he reached the village, he searched everywhere. The girl was nowhere to be found. There were no cellphones in 1995.

As the day’s red-and-white fanfare gave way to evening, and the moon was emerging from the mountain top, he abandoned the search. To put the mind off things, he joined a band of boys who were chatting noisily about soccer. Jokes were also about why they did not have their hands full serenading their sweethearts on a big day like this one. ‘I am focusing on my books,’ some of them reasoned, much to the amusement of those who knew the real reasons. A bunch of chickens!

The girl appeared, in the dimming embrace of twilight. Where was she coming from? Next to her was a guy. She looked like she’d hide if she could, worried that the fight was going to break out. Her companion looked unbothered.

He strode with that famous “pantsula” gait. His right hand held onto the left arm, behind him. A white spotty labeled ‘dickies’ covered his visibly big head. Golf shirt gave semblance of decency to his rather protruding chest. Khaki pants, also with Dickies label, clung around his small waist. A pair of white All Star completed the intimidating dress sense. His whole being boasted agility. He smelled of okapie deftness.

The invisible knife cut through the heart of the guy who’d been searching for his sweetheart. The writing was on the wall. Sweetheart; her shame; the remorse, filled the moon-lit space. She and the prancing Pantsula walked past, in loud silence.

Chickens dispersed. Nobody said a word, save for two chickens who cleared their throats nervously. Shattered, embarrassed and angry, Charmer took to running homeward.

‘I threw the presents in the toilet,’ he told me several days later. He had lost appetite. The squabbles of Hilda Letsoalo and Ntsiki Lukhele, over Archie Moroka, and New Horizon, disgusted him. ‘I didn’t understand why they were fighting? There is no love in this world!’ he said. So he went to sleep.

When the new day came, he broke up with her. She cried like a toddler whose doll had been confiscated by a rude puppy. ‘It was odd. It was as if she wanted to explain something to me but she couldn’t. But that was it,’ he concluded. I asked him: What if Pantsula was forcing her into a relationship and she was afraid of refusing his advances? ‘I don’t know what to think; I don’t care,’ he exclaimed.

That was the first and the last time Charmer ever tried rolling with the hype of Valentine’s Day.

A Vlad of European average coaches sucks our blood dry

‘His hunger and discipline is impressive,’ said Dr Irvin Khoza when announcing the appointment of Vladimir Vermezovic as the coach of Orlando Pirates. The logic and rhetoric of executives can leave a lot to be desired at times. Yes, Vladimir Vermezovic is hungry. He has been unemployed since May 2013! Discipline? Well, let us see what that translates into…

Short stint in Serbia (home country)

Vlad left FK Partizan Belgrade club (Serbia) with 7 matches to go in April 2013. A month later the team won the league with Vuk Rasovic, who was VV’s assistant. What I am curious to know is this: what happened there that made him to jump ship at such a critical moment?

History at Kaizer Chiefs

Before then, Vlad was coach at Kaizer Chiefs, for 3 seasons. And throughout the time, Vlad took Amakhosi to boring position 3 in three successive seasons. The situation which VV left Kaizer Chiefs in was so bad that the team finished 5^th, after a series of comical performances under the caretaker coaches, Ace Khuse and Doctor Khumalo.

Vlad left Chiefs under allegedly acrimonious circumstances involving woeful player management and conflict of interest.

I remember how he pulled Abia Nale off in the first half of the clash against Mamelodi Sundowns, and how he gave the player a real dressing down right on the touch line, in full glare of the supporters and cameras. The facial expression of Nale did not lie as he walked past the bench to the dressing room, perhaps to avoid sobbing in public.

Vladimir Vermezovic stripped Jimmy Tau of his captaincy after Jimmy had chosen George Lebese to take a penalty which he missed against Golden Arrows. Chiefs lost the game 2-1 on the day.

On 25 March 2012, City Press reported that there were tensions between the coach and the senior player, Nengomasha. Vlad relegate Nengomasha (one of the most consistent players I have ever seen in the PSL) to the bench for three successive matches. It is alleged that Nengomasha had influenced the players to snub an invitation from the coach for free drinks after the 1-all draw against Jomo Cosmos at Nelson Mandela Stadium.

At some point a source at the club had said that Vlad had refused to shake hands with Bernard Parker after the latter gave misfiring performances in front of goal in the game against Bloemfontein Celtic at Peter Mokaba stadium.

It is clear that there were problems at the club and that the coach was not helping the situation.

The other controversy which followed Vlad was how he preferred playing the likes of Arthur Bartman and George Lebese on the grounds that the coach and players belonged to the same agent – Stankovic. Also on the books of Stankovic were Dominic Mateba, who also featured in the few games, and Siyabulela Songwiqi, who joined the club briefly but was later released.

Vladimir presided over what I can call the “Nedbank Cup turmoil” at Chiefs. I remember how Amatuks, FC Cape Town and Baroka FC knocked the Kaizer Chiefs out of the competition in embarrassing fashion? You would expect Jimmy Tau to weep after losing a cup tie against Sundowns or Pirates. No, it was the Amatuks kids who drove a knife into the hearts of the Amakhosi on the day.

So why is my Chairman, Dr Khoza, even talking about discipline?

PSL conveyer belt

It is hardly two years after leaving South Africa, Vlad has resurfaced at Pirates. The question I am asking myself is this: what has he done to deserve the job? In fact, what informs this flood of European coaches who come to our league to preside over lukewarm performance? The likes of Muhsin Ertugral (KC, Ajax Cape Town (x2), Golden Arrows) have returned to PSL about twice, to win nothing; and he’s gone again. Ernst Middendorp is back in the rotation (KC, Maritzburg United (x2), Golden Arrows, Bloemfontein Celtic). Kostadin Papic is at Black Leopards (Pirates and Chiefs.) These are the coaches who’ve never won a PSL title.

Vlad and RDS are the same difference
When Roger De Sa took over at Pirates, I disagreed with the wisdom of Dr Irvin Khoza and his management team. But I am just a supporter and I understand my limitations. It was public knowledge that RDS’s CV was lukewarm. He had presided over the relegation of Wits University in 2004/2005. It was Boebie Solomons who brought the club back to PSL, with RDS having gone to coach Engen Santos. Roger De Sa’s only claim to success was winning the Nedbank cup against Amazulu in 2010.

Although he had not won any major trophy prior to joining Orlando Pirates (with all due respect to Nedbank), let alone coming up at least second in the league, RDS was “given a chance.” And we all know that he left the club without a single cup glory – bar the African Champions League defeat at the finals in Egypt last year.

Is it not curious enough that Orlando Pirates suffered a similar fate of Kaizer Chiefs’ “Nedbank cup turmoil” when Maluti FET College knocked them out of the competition when RDS was in charge?

So to me, Vladimir and RDS are the same difference. When I think of the amount of money a coach like Vlad will be making at Pirates, and I look at the deserving candidates such as Steve Kompela, Mancoba Mnqithi and Ian Gorowa, who also “deserve a chance,” my football heart begins to bleed.

Dictating a one-way conversation to dizzy sons and daughters

Dictating a one-way conversation to dizzy sons and daughters

It hogged the headlines last week. “Dr. Mamphela Ramphele is presidential candidate for the Democratic Alliance (DA).” This week, not only are we saying “they kissed and broke up”, but the sons and daughters of the nation have been plunged into confusion.

The use of “sons and daughters” is a borrowing from Dr. Mamphela Ramphele’s book - Conversations with My Sons and Daughters. I have not read the entire book. The best I have done was to read the review done by Lewis Mash. It is available online.

Using my narrow definition, the sons and daughters are the children of the rainbow nation. I am saying this because Dr. Ramphele is one of the vocal proponents of the rainbow nation as inspired by the leadership of Nelson Mandela. In fact, every politician who is scrambling for relevance and moral high ground goes this route to achieve credibility.

A deeper look at the politics of our country will remind you that the definition of sons and daughters is not absolute because these children are socially, economically and racially polarised. Some of them are white and ostensibly rich and others are white but not rich. Others are black and rich while the majority of them are Black and absolutely poor.

For those who use Black Consciousness (BC) lenses to analyse our society, the sons and daughters refers to the youth who, by the way, make up the majority of the unemployed population (the most uneducated and unemployed people are the Black youth of this country. Refer to Census 2011). They are being urged on by Nkgono Ramphele, perhaps sitting around the fireplace to hear the fables of modern old, to take pride in building a democratic society wherein the Black race have regained their pride and are prospering alongside other races.

Dr. Ramphele’s book begins with an angry young man shouting the words “Mobu o utswitswe – The soil has been stolen.” You’d think that this is cry for the youth to fight for the return of land to the hands of the dispossessed natives. Not really. The message is saying to the young people: the current government leaders have betrayed the democratic promises.

If you’ve been following Dr. Ramphele’s rhetoric, before and after the founding of Agang SA, you will know that the ruling party (ANC) is often an object of her banter and criticism. Lewis Mash amplifies this in the book review when he says, ‘If there is a common theme that binds these essays, it is the failure of the ANC government to live up to its pre-electoral promise.’

Lewis Mash carries on: ‘At times it’s hard to remember what you’re reading about now or what was covered in the previous chapter, let alone to connect it to what comes next.’ This mish-mash (no pun intended) of essays is emblematic of the happenings of this past week.

When Dr. Ramphele negotiated the deal to be the presidential candidate of the DA, and insisting (said Helen Zille) to publicly pronounce it, without the knowledge of her comrades, many of her sons and daughters were thrown into yet another one-way conversation.

Many people reacted through social media to reflect their varying views on the move. “Steve Biko must be turning in his grave” and other stinging comments, some of which were insulting to the person of Dr. Ramphele, flew in all directions. And there were those who felt that the leader of Agang SA had the right to choose what she wants to do with her career as a politician because we live in a democratic society.

To the sons and daughters, the short-lived deal signifies a number of leadership aspects attributable to Dr. Ramphele:

1. A leader who has the moral courage to speak truth to power.

2. A leader who has the political courage to wrestle power from the “troubled” ruling ANC by any means possible.

3. A leader who has proven her mettle working for powerful institutions.

4. A leader who ditched BC at the fall of Apartheid to preside over institutions that perpetuate institutionalized racism – with the hope to transform them.
5. A leader who failed to see through the opportunistic intentions of a visibly white and liberal party trying to use her face to garner the black “son and daughter” votes.

6. A leader who founded Agang SA to advocate clean governance and democratic principles, yet taking a unilateral decision, months after denying the possibility of union with the DA, by not consulting with the members of her party on the matter.

Speaking of number 6 above, Dr. Ramphele’s book brings out this “one-sided conversation.” Throughout the book, the author is speaking and none of the sons and daughters she is supposedly “conversing with” is responding to the author. (I am not saying it is a badly written book; the principle of conversation is missing throughout.)

The political hail storm (look how much rain we’re seeing these days) following Dr. Ramphele brings with every lightning the complexity of our democracy. It brings to spotlight the overcast and wet conditions of our national politics. Dr. Ramphele’s actions send the message to people that indeed politicians are in it for their cosy weather conditions.

The ordinary South Africans are finding it difficult to make clear political choices because of this. The jury is still out whether the political parties in South African have the moral ability and competence to bring about clear-sky changes that will warm the whole nation.

Dr. Ramphele, once again, you have denied us a conversation, despite your claims (and those of your political party) of “restoring the promise of freedom” to everybody.