Accepting that we are the Nigeria’s whipping boys

I hear that some people are heart-broken by Bafana Bafana's loss to Nigeria. Clearly the people are not creative out there. I have found a way to protect my heart. Yes. Whenever BB faces Nigeria, I gently remove my heart and I put it inside the safe, and then I lock the thing for 90 minutes or so.

This is the reason why I started watching the match in the 23rd minute. Dislodging one’s heart is a very delicate process, especially if it is not being done in a literal sense (as you all know that I am not a heart surgeon.) It requires a process which falls between amateurish self-hypnosis and the “I don’t care” attitude. You should have seen me this evening. I was expressionless throughout the match. It works.

Speaking of this unnecessarily heart-breaking result, we have to do two things. One: face the fact that we are Nigeria’s whipping boys. Two: accept that the odds are against us whenever Nigeria bursts into the scene wherever we are trying to win something on the football pitch. A bit of history first…

When we won the AFCON in 1996, Nigeria was not participating. Subsequently, we traversed the length and breadth of the Continent (Burkina Faso, Mali) trying to reclaim the trophy but we failed. When we thought we had pulled the trick and the tournament was on our home soil - thanks to Libya, or must I thank the U.S for we know what transpired – Nigeria came. And they snatched it.

Okay, now here’s the thing: Whether BB are playing here in SA or in Nigeria, the truth is that Nigeria will always enjoy home-ground advantage. Let me explain. There were more Nigerians in the Cape Town stadium than there were SAns. Now, take the Nigeria/BB match to Lagos anytime and then tell me if you will see if our eleven SA supporters (SAFA officials, to be specific, because there'll be no space for ordinary travelling SAn fans inside that stadium) can root for Mashego and Parker to convert their chances over there.

Another thing: That player, Uzoenyi (7), gave us a warning from the start. But clearly we can't read. His surname might mean something else in Igbo or Hausa (I suspect Igbo because he was born in Aba or Abia state), but if you are Nguni-speaking, which is what our entire four defenders (Mashamaite, Nthethe, Mere and Langerman) are not, you will miss the opportunity to read that the guy's surname, if read with reckless Nguni accent, means Uzonya (excuse my French-ing Zulu.) Had we been ardent readers, we'd have taken the hint.

And one more thing: It has never happened that whenever BB, Mali and Nigeria are in the tournament, then BB will survive. In the last AFCON 2013, right here in SA, Mali kicked us out so that Nigeria could win the tournament. It worked. So this time, Nigeria was returning the favour. Don’t say I didn’t warn you when Mali grabs the trophy in February.