Gayton, give your money to politics; dial Julius

So you know, or you don't know yet, that Gayton McKenzie used an open letter to parade his swag while dragging Julius Malema through it?

Yes, no kidding. He did so and took a dig at Malema, explaining to him that nationalizing the mines is not as easy as Woodwork.

Anyway, open letters have been around for a while. Do you remember how Gareth Cliff fashioned an open letter, the day he gave the ruling party a dressing down? Do you remember how this heroic act left his ego shooting through the roof, when Gwede Mantashe rewarded him with a “
meeting over coffee (MOC)”?

I am waiting to hear somebody tell me that even Prof. Njabulo Ndebele, or Prince Mashele, for example, got rewarded with coffee for their revolutionary “open letter” gesture. But let’s put this one aside. We are not discussing white supremacy.

There is one particular gesture which really catapulted the advent of open letters to popularity; when Kenny Kunene took the time off his sushi parties to write an open letter to... remember that one? Sadly for him, he didn’t get a MOC. I remember how the people appealed to him in hushed tones to get his SARS affairs in order. I don’t know why Kenny was getting such a bizarre advice. But that is not a problem.

The problem is here...

How did a rich brother like Gayton McKenzie decide to compromise his “time to hustle” by sitting in front of a computer – for what I imagine may have taken two hours – to write an open letter to his own friend, Julius Malema, when his Vodacom airtime was screaming for him to spend it? Between writing a letter and dialling the number of Julius, Gayton opted for an open letter. When did Gayton become such a scrooge?

Is this not the right time - in the spirit of peaceful and less humorous national elections - to ask Gareth Cliff to reverse this "open letter to earn MOC" culture, by writing a closed letter to Dr. Blade Nzimande? My prediction is that Gareth will earn himself a secret bag of R500 000 worth of insults. That is far more worthwhile than a R23.95 cup of moca-choca at Mugg & Bean.

Through this, we hope that Gayton will realise that he can insult his friend, Julius, much quicker if he used the damned smart phone languishing inside his pocket right now! Who knows? He might even get a direct emotionally charged response from Julius, which might culminate into an impromptu shopping spree, for both of them to jointly blow R500 000 in some Louis Vuitton and Gucci shops.

If Gayton is honest when he says that he will never steal again, and that he gives his money to politics, then I am putting it to him that he must stop stealing from Vodacom profits in order to enrich the tabloids. Give your money to politics. Dial the phone number of Julius.

http://drum.co.za/news/open-letter-to-julius-malema/