Friday, November 22, 2013

Not sure if Jacob Zuma is my father or president

When I was young, there were moments when my father used to piss me off!

Like when he'd look up in the Ha-Sethunya direction (which is where my school was) to check if the school was out. And then - I am imagining all of this - he'd quickly open the bonnet of a 1977 Toyota hilux, and proceed to dismember the engine. On a Friday afternoon; Imagine. He did all that – I  suspected – just to make sure that I spent the entire weekend, sometimes in a freezing winter season, handing him the vice grips and sockets.

Sometimes he'd even instruct me as I entered the gate, 'Hlobola kapele o tlo nthusa mona (quickly lose the school uniform and give me a hand over here!)' It was bye-bye to after school lunch, unless my stubborn Mother was around to insist that I ate before starting the grueling shift.

To rub salt in my wound, my playmates would bring the street football match right in front of our gate, and throw the eyes in my direction every time my father shouted, 'Ke itse boutu (bolt), e seng spanere sa 14! Ha o bone mahlong?' Sometimes my playmates (without provocative fathers like mine) would giggle. And I'd be so heartbroken.

Because if only I had had enough practice time with my playmates, I'd still be relegating Lucky Lekgwathi to the bench right now as we speak...

Fathers have pissed all of us off. And I think they have the right to because the okes have been feeding us. But then when your president starts to crate your nipples just like your father used to do, you end up wandering if Jacob Zuma is your father or president.

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